Getting to Know Children |
Page 14 |
Listen
Listen to learn, not to just respond. If a child opens up to you even just to tell you something simple they are putting trust in you and attempting to build a positive relationship. If you respond with sentiments that are negative or that seem to push the child away there is no way to build that relationship. Listen with the intent of learning about the child as a person not just to respond to their words.
Listen to what the child tells you about their strengths. Often a child with any type of challenge runs the risk for low self-esteem or a negative self-image. Educators should champion their strengths and listen for a child's own admission of them.
Be Authentic
Children have a keen perception of honesty, especially as they get older. Children notice your sincerity. As you get to know them more, you will be building a strong foundation anchored by honesty and trust.
Give it Time
Getting to know your students and building relationships takes an investment in time, but the return on that investment is immeasurable.
Be Relatable
Children relate to you when there is common ground. Let them see you make mistakes, be silly, have a bad day and overcome it with grace. This helps to build a relationship quickly and in a natural way.
Involve them in Decision Making
In big and small matters, you can take a vote. Hand out a survey, talk with a small group, or ask for ideas in order to involve children in decision making. They will feel supported and appreciated, which will help them feel valued.
Don't Make Assumptions
Just because the child has a file that is twenty pages thick doesn’t mean that you will know them just by reading the report. It is unfair to make assumptions about an individual child's behavior, strengths or weaknesses based on a diagnoses or report. Each child is a unique individual.
Knowledge is power, not just for children with challenges but for the adults working with them.
By getting to know the child you will ultimately understand them as a person though you will need to gain their perspective in a direct and effective way. For example, if a child struggles with keeping their desk organized you may use a known strength to help them organize their things. Perhaps they are very skilled at imagining things. If you know this about the child you can then use that as a tool to help them to envision an organized desk or to imagine where the math worksheet may be in the desk.
By getting to know the child you will ultimately understand them as a person though you will need to gain their perspective in a direct and effective way. For example, if a child struggles with keeping their desk organized you may use a known strength to help them organize their things. Perhaps they are very skilled at imagining things. If you know this about the child you can then use that as a tool to help them to envision an organized desk or to imagine where the math worksheet may be in the desk.
Knowing a child and understanding a child are two closely related but different concepts. You may know the child’s favorite color and candy bar but do you understand why they choose to play alone at recess? Do you understand what they’re doing when they wind the pencil sharpener exactly 10 times before examining the pencil? Understanding a child means knowing their motivations, goals, habits, needs, and what makes them who they are.